Conflict. It’s the glue that holds narratives together, and it’s the core of the collective pain that screams for change.
In the recent chapter of the ongoing story of mass shootings and violence in schools, the inciting incident takes place at a private school, the very type of school most of us know well. Heartbroken, scared, and angry, we watch the news, ask questions, and construct stories that help us make sense of the madness.
To explain.
To understand.
To motivate action.
Ella Saltmarshe dives into the details of how story can change systems. In it she references John Steinbeck’s take on story:
“We are lonesome animals. We spend all of our life trying to be less lonesome. One of our ancient methods is to tell a story begging the listener to say—and to feel—‘yes, that is the way it is, or at least that’s the way I feel it. You’re not as alone as you thought.’”
It is in the spirit of connection and belonging, of “trying to be less lonesome,” that I offer a few examples of how I have used story to expand my own pedagogy of leadership.
First, one’s personal story, when intentionally and thoughtfully crafted to be told, is a precious gift to those who hear it. Likewise, intentional and thoughtful listening is where stories burrow into our hearts. When this happens, change happens.
But how do we get into the spaces for this to happen?
Arguably, intentional training and practice are the best places to start. Years ago, I was lucky to be trained as a Heritage Panel facilitator in Alabama, but there are many wonderful programs out there.
Heritage Panel trains teachers and students to craft and tell a short personal story of an injustice they have seen or experienced, followed by a statement of how they would like to make their community better as a result of their experience. Students then take their training and story back to the classroom and hold panel discussions where three-to-four panelists share their story and allow listeners to ask questions or share their own experiences. Above all else, it adheres to dedicated norms of respect for differences, confidentiality, and active listening. And, it works. Students report that they feel more connected and engaged–less alone–in community following a Heritage Panel discussion. 
Another activity I use is a story share where students bring an item that expresses something important or unique about them. We develop norms and then allow a few minutes for students to tell us about the item and why it’s important to them. It’s a simple, old-fashioned show-and-tell that creates an opportunity for self-expression, connection, and community.
Of course, one of the best models that’s now a turnkey option for educators is StoryCorp. I was introduced to it twelve years ago in the infamous roving StoryCorps AirStream recording studio. There my husband and father-in-law recorded my father-in-law’s story of growing up as a young Jewish boy in wartime France and his subsequent immigration to the United States. Since then I’ve used StoryCorps to facilitate active listening skills by simply listening to a story and asking questions.
Lastly, tools that gcLi Lab participants experience are wonderful springboards for story. Consultancy Protocol, Open Session, and the feedback model all offer opportunities for students to express their feelings about a conflict or situation.
A few words of caution:
Opinions, assumptions and editorials are not synonymous with original stories based on personal experiences. While critical analysis is vital, it’s important to stress that intentional storytelling is for setting personal opinions aside and an opportunity to practice listening to empathize and connect with others. Storytelling can build community when it is done in these conditions with honesty, empathy, and no goal or agenda beyond building understanding; however, it can also tear communities apart –especially in light of tragedies.
Without proper framing, pointing fingers, searching for justification or a villain, trying to rationalize something that has no reason: these things can become unproductive stories that can be co-opted into something else entirely. In the context of politics or media, storytelling has its place vis-a-vis policy making, but in the context of teaching leadership or building community, it can be counterproductive at best and toxic at worst.
Students need to know that their personal story is unique and that it will be heard and respected. They need to know that their story will not go viral or be used against them. Trust can be hard to come by these days, and while stories can build trust, mishandling of story can create backlash and isolation.
How to use story with students:
- Assess whether or not you have a holding container of trust,
- Clearly state the purpose of the activity,
- Give students a framework and a timeframe,
- Give students time to think about what they want to share,
- Explain and practice active listening before and while hearing stories,
- Students share voluntarily,
- Norms are honored and the consequences for betraying the norms are known,
- Start with low-stakes stories,
- Always leave time for reflection, synthesis, and a reminder of the group norms.
In Part I of this post, I shared an eye-opening experience gleaned through a story that created for me a personal shift in perspective.
My program year has now ended as Youth Leadership Forum graduates. With Birmingham, Alabama, as the backdrop for learning, relationships across every possible demographic line have been forged, and most importantly, new stories are ready to be told.
It takes a bit of time, space, and intentionality, but stories are worth telling and hearing, for the result just may be the connections we all need to remember that “we are not as alone as we thought.”
Given the many challenges presenting us right now, we know that storytelling alone is not a panacea. Let it offer, though, one powerful way forward.
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Katherine Berdy, M.Ed, is the current director of Youth Leadership Forum, a non-profit designed to teach leadership and forge relationships to students throughout the Birmingham, AL metropolitan area. Katherine’s career and pedagogical foundations began in the mid 1990’s while working as an outdoor educator in the Rockies and Pacific Northwest, work that directly influenced her career as the director of The C. Kyser Miree Ethical Leadership Center at The Altamont School in Birmingham, AL, where she created community partnerships and experiential educational opportunities for Altamont’s students. In addition to hosting the gcLi Podcast, Katherine has presented at SAIS (Southern Association of Independent Schools) and NNSP (National Network of Independent Schools) with gcLi. She holds a B.A. in Communication Studies from Vanderbilt University and an M.Ed. from the University of Montevallo. Her teaching portfolio includes classes in English, theater, creative writing, leadership studies, public speaking, and debate. In her spare time, Katherine enjoys traveling, reading, knitting, photography, and spending time with friends and her husband and two children.